Out of Bondage

He stands on the threshold,
I slip on unsteady stones.
His gaze toward me and
My eyes struggle to look straight on.

I am never too far out of range,
I am never out of His sight,
But I'm not coddled or stifled of growth
I am spurned to obedience,
guided to do right.

Is this a great love?
That doesn't always pick me up every time I fall?
Doesn't always hear my complaining,
or correct a way I've made wrong?

I tell you that it is,
When I see my four lambs feet beneath,
When I cry over misguided steps,
With every inclination to retreat,
But He, unyielding, still frees me.

I don't have to convince you,
Someday you'll understand.
Our Lord isn't given to whims or feelings,
He understands the better plan.

Someday with my own.
I hope to follow His lead.
When I see the adored child, unsteady,
I will restrain every urge to hold him back,
and unwavering, release.


I'm learning an aspect of parenting that I think Christians don't often associate with our Lord, but when I think of the last test that I failed for driving, I recall a Savior that isn't always listening to my beckon call. This may not sit well with those, whose life verses revolve around "He is faithful and just to forgive....." Far be it from me to minimize a verse like that, but what about those times that you haven't heard anything from God, or you heard a different answer than you wanted to hear?

I think that will come up a lot with my children. I don't want to be a beckon call mom. I don't think that helps a kid at all. If anything it chains them to a life of selfishness. Rather, I want to see my child adapt and grow, face challenges (even at an early age) and move forward. I don't know why I thought that the Lord wouldn't want that sort of thing for me, as His child.

I PASSED THE DRIVER'S TEST!!!!!

And in other news... today is the one year anniversary of my cyst being removed. For those of you that didn't see any pictures of the HUGE thing, let me know. I'll be happy to oblige.

3 Things I'm grateful for, concerning the surgery:

1) the lesson in trusting God more than the Dr.
2) the lesson in praising His name ALWAYS
3) the closeness to my husband that was granted through the experience.

Psalm 150:1-2

PRAISE the Lord!

Praise God in His sanctuary;
Praise Him in His mighty firmament!

Praise Him for His mighty acts;
Praise Him according to His excellent greatness.

Comments

Amanda said…
sara

it's been a long time, eh?
well, it's good to be able to read your blog and find out how you're doing. In general, how's the pregnancy going? it was great to see the ultrasound pics-those were always the best days-being able to see the little sweetheart in action. it's weird when they come out-i mean surreal--like one day you just have this big belly and the next, you have another member of your family. they're so fun. they really do change everyday-so take pictures. oh, so i'm commenting on your post from a few days ago too-- i think that if you can do all that stuff for your baby that's great. i'm going to try to hold her off of the sugar too and i use filtered water and organic products for her skin and hopefully she'll nurse for at least a year/. i'm doing regular old diapers cuz we don't have our own washer/dryer and organic diapies are more than twice as much as regular. my ob office works with midwives, but i saw ours once and rescheduled all my following appts. with her cuz she was rude. have you seen one yet? i've heard either really good or really bad from moms about midwives. ya know, it probablyu wasn't such a big deal what she said to me, but i was pregnant and therefore not going to put up with much-we just didn't click personality-wise. anyway, you should email me maybe since i write incredibly long comments.

love ya
Sarah C said…
Sara, what an uplifting post. Thank you so much for your positive blogging and I think you have a great observation on parenting. I was raised not to get instant gratification, and I think it helped. Congratulations on passing the driving test, and, even more, on passing the Lord's test.
Anonymous said…
Sara,

I'm so glad I found you! I hope you remember me from spanish class. I got your blog address from Mark Markham. I'm so excited for you and John and your upcoming addition!! I was wondering if I could talk to you sometime. I remember the struggles that you had with John's parents when you first got together and I'd like some advise. I'm met a man that I really hope is God's will for me, but we will face some of the same issues. So if you are on facebook I am in there as Elizabeth Rebert. If not my number is 207-660-5768. Thanks, wow it's great to get reconnected with you. Talk to you soon, Liz
Liz, do you have e-mail? I am a better e-mailer. :) Sorry, I'm the one person in the world that doesn't have Facebook. For right now, surrender, is all I can say. Surrender him, surrender the relationship, and submit to the parents. The Lord blessed us for that, however, we should talk.