04 March 2017

Now for the Women

Pictures for this one. (We are talking about block section #4 with 3 blocks in it for the Emotion Blocks concept I am working on to help people emotionally/relationally function). As a Reminder...
Starting with...
Ladies, maybe we've seen this one before. We laugh....while the men we insist upon taking along with us on our emotional roller coasters....cry...or try to find an escape...or visit the local bar....or avoid coming home....or... People in this category are self absorbed. Somehow logic has left the building. Reflection has left the building. Moving forward in a orderly fashion has left the building. A lot of things besides our emotional drives have been sold down the river. While we, as wives (I'll be gender specific here), sometimes fret that our husbands have no earthly idea what is going on in the house (we lack the emotional capacity to stop jumping to conclusions that our kids are being neglected<---our husbands know we are thinking like this). He obviously doesn't know what is good for him, either, dag nabit, because of what so and so said last week at church. We keep all the tabs open, you see, all. the. time.....constantly reaching out our feelers...getting the input from every output source. Our m.o. is the more feelies that confirm our lives are in the same safety net that we perceive to be around us, the more we feel fulfilled and safe. 

Women here in this zone are empty. They either try to manipulate to fill the space or get their husbands to understand the unexaustible "need" (invariably changing from day to day), cut down others (gossip) to compensate, over eat, drink, withdraw, over spend, etc. Can we please look up at the emoji pic again for a moment. We are asking a fish to fly. We have added all these emotional tabs to our lives and the more we add them, the more we get frustrated he isn't hopping along with us...so that when he finally senses something might be upsetting us, he ventures to ask what might be wrong (scared out of his ever loving mind, I might add), but it only results in a blank stare back at him or a sneer. Just as he suspected. Our problem started at the first tab that we didn't nip in the bud, keep under emotional control, and if serious, address. Since we lost the emotional response to that supposedly "life changing challenge" in the first tab (i.e. your husband didn't notice the new pic Franky had drawn), we no longer know what to say. Not fair. Pic again. We are on an emotional rollercoaster and he is not. That's it. If it is more than that, is it really so hard to communicate it without hysterics? (All my fingers pointed at me.)

 Let me put it another way. Have you ever driven in a car with someone who seemingly could not tell the difference between a gas pedal and the break. Sit in that car now. Stop. Go. Stop. Go. This is what you want your husband to embrace. Ok, I'm getting sick. Stop.  

This girl is Block section 4.

Now. I was only able to say it this way cuz I. Am. A. Woman. Men, don't try to manage your wife like a 9-5. You will be sleeping at your homie's house with the, "I know what this fiasco needs...a good dose of logic." Dwell with your wife with knowledge, not logic, connect on whatever emotional level in one area (keep it simple) once a day, yes, every day, not sex.... and point her to Jesus, the direction you should already be preoccupied with.

While I am on the topic, let me see if I can help a guy out. If you go at this with just cerebral strength, you will miss the "details". Your wife is found in the details, and if you have zero idea what's closest to her heart, pray for intervention. Next time you go to a football game,  instead of watching the next play, notice the smell of the field, the color of the jerseys, the roar of the crowd, the little boy for whom this is his first game, the family, all wearing the same colors as their favorite team, the bluest sky, the hottest weather, the cold drink....now take it all away, except for "the next play". Now. Are you ready to lose that? Didn't think so.

One of my favorite stories Beth Moore tells is about the time she was lost in some hotel in the Ozarks or whatever, after dark, when the power went out. The response of her husband was not dramatic, emotional, ga ga, or ridiculous. He simply knew she would be scared (a detail he knew about her) and responded by going to find her, and then saying what he needed to say to reassure her that it wasn't the end. He knew a detail about her and he responded. No doctorate necessary.

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