10 January 2016

I'm comin' Back

I'll be writing here again, by God's grace. Supporting causes that I support, working on a tangible idea of my own.
I'll be candid. I have had a hard time being lonsuffering with my oldest, who has autistic symptoms. The minute one throws that label down, the "how could yous" start, because now it's a condition.
The truth is, as parents, especially if the special needs child is your first, you don't necessarily know that there is something else, an "easier" version of parenting. Mine manifested itself in my second born son. "Oh....."
Everybody is an expert....after.
My poor baby....what he dealt with, with me, dealing with him.
I still get short tempered, sarcastic even. I've had to listen to videos of myself, recently, annoyed at him for not listening......I feel like I apologize sometimes all day to him. This is the long haul, though, and by God grace, we'll make it. I would rather risk losing my mind, involving him in what I'm a part of, than shutting him out. I'd rather push him past his comfort zone, which is tiny, than give him excuses to disconnect.
Someday, by God's grace I'll own a farm, where I can minister, and if I'm not mature enough, welcome families dealing with autism. The kids can explore in a peaceful place, animals, and terrain, and parents can rest (parents of special needs are tired). Somehow, without being overbearing, I'll try to communicate that the right diet can and will illeviate symptoms. Farm fresh food, bone broth, seminars and community. I can see it now!

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