21 February 2012

Love is...

Happy late Valentine's Day.

The other night I was putting my kid to bed.  I was annoyed with him for disobeying, but all of the sudden I found myself throwing out spiritual platitudes. The honoring bit, choosing the right path to avoid condemnation, all through hardened heart.  Did I have an angry tone? No. Was I using angry gestures? No.  Part way through my sh-peal I disconnected, though my mouth was still moving.  Have you ever done that?  I said to myself, "Wow, you are a flaming hypocrite." Here you are, your heart is FAR away from your son, and yet you are trying to feed him spiritual truths. 1 Corinthians 13

I thought about all the times I had heard talk just like that from people that didn't HATE me, per se, but didn't love me, not enough to access the real situation, or even get to know me.  I almost laugh thinking of the times someone wanted to impart their spirituality, maybe for my benefit, but I thought mostly for theirs.  I thought the same thing of them, as I thought the other night of myself,  "Something is missing here."

As I sit here and think about it, I'm sort of wincing, considering all the people that have imparted their spiritual wisdom, wondering how many of them actually loved me?  Well, let's just say most lip service has fallen on deaf ears, but the ones who did love me, I remember what they said.   Is that why, maybe some kids raised with platitudes and no heart are walking away from God?  I guess that saying is true, "They don't care what you know until they know that you care."  Jesus didn't say, "Let the children stick around. They can hear what I have to say and be dismissed," did he?  Was Jesus speaking truth?  Was it beneficial?  God's very Word? Yes.  I hope you know what I'm getting at.  We can't miss this if we expect to raise God loving children.

I've been learning this slowly.  I was a latch key kid.  My mom had to work from the time I was two weeks old.  I did not get into parenting knowing how to take time out for my kids, or knowing how to include them in my life.  I thought, maybe, they would just take over, I guess, and they DO, but not in a bad way, like I thought. Keane spent a lot of his really early days in front of the T.V.  You can assume the worst if you want to.  I know it wasn't good, even if it wasn't six hours per day, it was time his little brain needed to grow, not be over stimulated. I simply did not know how to connect.  It's still an issue, even with other people.  "Socially retarded" as they might say.

Why do I say all that? Love is the basis. Understanding that love has to be the basis for any relationship with my son, my understanding that love is a verb has caused me to re-access the lengths I go to pursue him with Jesus.

Love bears.
Love is patient.
Love is kind.
Love plays on the floor when I'm tired.
Love gives and uncontrollable amount of kisses.
Love teaches Keane his letters and numbers.
Love says turn that thing (T.V) off we're going outside.

1 comment:

Kelly Glupker said...

I can totally relate to this post! I have recently been reading "Give Them Grace" by Elyse Fitzpatrick and it is completely changing the way I parent. I'm realizing that I have been trying to get my kids to be "good" . . . . not to see their need for a savior. When they obey and do what I want them to do, I think I've been successful. But their outward obedience doesn't mean their hearts are right.