17 January 2008


Usually I'm pretty good at this update stuff. Ya'll know that. However, it's been a rough week. So here are some of the details and prayer requests concerning our new arrival.

Right now Keane is sleeping soundly, which is a first, details to follow. What a precious boy he is. I never thought I could love someone so much, instantly.

My water broke Sunday late afternoon after a nap. After doing everything twice and running around like headless chickens, we finally got out the door. Labor started right away, it was pretty hard for me. I had great aspirations about no epidural, but around four o'clock in the morning when I found out I was just reaching 4-5 centimeters, I asked for one to help me get a little rest. It didn't work. I had a double dose and could still feel just about everything. I remember telling John I would never do this again, and hitting him (not very hard) in the stomach when he told me to breath... and then giving him a hug. ;) I said that next time I was having a planned C-Section.

Anywho...Keane did come out, and boy, was it all worth it. What a beautiful thing that draws you closer to the Lord and deepens your relationship with the Creator.

Here is our struggle and I would ask you to pray. Remember my resolution to breast feed?? Well, it's not working out so far, and it's not Keane's fault. He has been trying and trying, only to find out he has probably been starving for the first days of his life. Coupled with having jaundice. I'm full of milk, but it won't even pump out (so far). He tries and then falls asleep because he is so tired, but being that he doesn't have a full tummy, it's not sound at all.

You Moms to be will find out just how painful it is to know your baby is in distress and you didn't know about it. It's awful.

The mid-wife came over today, and finally helped us figure out what was wrong. I would put him to the breast and he would cry and shake his head and almost say "mama", even though I know he doesn't know what he is saying. Through tears and fears, we have finally given him formula for the first time, how relieving it was to see him satisfied.

We don't want to completely give up on breast feeding, but I am so tempted 'cause feeding just stresses him out. Even at the clinic the nurses were telling me that I wasn't feeding him enough "he really shouldn't cry so much," they would say, and I would have just spent three hours trying to feed him.

Pray Pray Pray.


Deb said...

I am going through this same ride with Sophia. The first three days at the hospital were rough because she was starving. She sucked (it seemed)almost every 15. I didn't have much for her. She was close to ten pounds when she was born and dropped down to 8 and 1/2 in the hospital. When we got home I had plenty of milk for her, it takes a few days, then her weight jumped back to 9 pounds. The key is to keep little Keane at the breast for as long as he wants as much as he wants for right now even though you think he is not getting anything. Sophia cried endlessly because she was so hungry, but we got past it. I was this close to giving Sophia formula too, but I just held off for one more day and we were fine. Feed on demand and hang in there, Sara. You'll feel like a walking zombie for a few days, but the result of your bonding through breastfeeding Keane will be your reward. I'm praying that it all works out for you.

partyofsix said...

oh dear sara, your post made me cry... you know especially with the music in the background. - i loved reading your story. (and i am emotional and freeked out about mine being due 9 weeks from today.)

don't give up on breast feeding. if you need to talk to katie, she had it so rough with luke and she stuck with it. i don't think it comes easy for most moms. you are wonderful. i will be praying for you. i love you so much you pretty little mamma. - i wish we could be there and cry together.

i promise i am going to be praying. you can do it.

Amanda said...

Sara thats greatt that he is sucking!!! Really!!! Give him some formula too. It won't hurt and he will get something to eat. Keep him on the breast as much as you can even if he is just using it as a pacifire. Him sucking tells your body to make more milk and keep it coming. I don't believe in nipple confussion. Babys like the breast best! I know he is crying I remember it all to well. Really you are not hurting him. He frustrated and you are too. But just keep banging your head against that wall and it will happen he'll latch and suddenly your milk will pour out. Some women don't get milk for a week after birth. Keep trying and pumping. You'll get used to seeing him cry and hearing it I know it makes you sad and tense but you are doing all the right things. Keep trying!!! Praying!

Amanda said...

Oh, the nurses told me to rub his cheek with my finger when I tried to put them on. It helped stimulated some sucking reflex. I know you want to breast feed but many great moms give their kids formula. :)

Amanda said...

Still praying.

Scotty and Lisa said...

I'm afraid I don't have any great advice for you Sara, but it seems as though many moms have gone through this same struggle and have made it out on the other side as breastfeeding moms and babies- I trust that you will too! My prayers are with you in this frustrating time.

Kara said...

Oh honey- four kids here, only one nursed good. The last 2 were terrible, #3 kiddo I was so sore for 3 weeks and would cry every time he would latch on. #4 was even worse.. it went on for 6 weeks. But the milk was coming, they just weren't latching on good. They eventually "get it" and you will be SO GLAD that you stuck with it. I detest washing bottles. I nursed the last 2 kids for a year each, it was well worth the frustration in the beginning.
I'll be praying, too.

Katie said...

Oh Sara, I am praying for you! I know exactly how you feel. Luke was probably pretty hungry his first days too. Keane will be ok. And he'll love you so much! :) I just want to encourage you that you can still breastfeed even if Keane gets formula for a while. Just pump, pump, pump and get him full and satisfied and then start working on breastfeeding again. It takes a while to get the hang of things like 4 weeks. I gotta give Chris the computer know, but I'm praying that you'll have an encouraging day, night, whatever it is there. And i'll write more later.

Love - Katie

D and S said...

First of all, Congratulations! He's beautiful! Secondly, I will second all the other ladies. I had lots of trouble with Logan. I actually pumped and did all that crazy cup feeding and stuff for a week or so and then we got a thing that went over the nipple so he could have something to grab onto and we used that for about 4 months before he latched onto my breast proper....so...it's worth it to hang in there. there's a wonderful bonding that happens between you and babe that you can be experienced while breast-feeding. I totally understand those terribly sleepless nights when you just want to fall over, scream, cry and all that jazz.....So glad you got to push him out. I'm jealous. :D Love you! Praying for you!

Kelly Glupker said...

The second day I was in the hospital I could NOT get Owen to latch on. I tried for hours - literally. The lactation consultant was too busy to help me and I was so worried because Owen ended up not eating the entire day. The first several weeks require a lot of time and patience. Breastfeeding is natural, yet somehow it doesn't always feel like it. Don't give up! Owen was probably 8 weeks old until I finally felt like I had the hang of it.

Shyla said...

hang in there sara. first, let me assure you that the first few days keane was not starving. that's what the colostrum is for. God has a perfect design to take care of our babies and ease them into this world. if they were to have milk right away, then our milk would come in right away.
secondly, give him a little formula first to take off his hunger edge but then offer him your breast. Make sure that you stay relaxed. I know it's hard especially when you think he's not eating, but when you are relaxed, your milk will let down and he will be able to feed from you more efficiently.
hang in there. nursing can be so difficult the first few weeks - but stay with it and you will find that it's so rewarding and a special time alone with keane.
i'll be praying for you. just remember this time is so temporary in relation to the rest of the life you will enjoy with him. hang in there girlie and welcome to the club! LOL :)

Amanda said...

Wow what a great goup of women. Interesting to hear the nipple cover actually worked. I had flat nipples with number two. I should have been wearing some sort of nipple extractor thing before birth?? They gave me one to put in my bra. I just didn't have it in me. My cousin said they used a syringe on her. It wouldn't pop out so they sawed off the end and would pull it out and put the baby on. So yeah its natural sort of. :) I never breast fed for more than 4 days. When the wind went by and my boobs hurt I gave up!

Anonymous said...

Hey Sara! Congratulations! Keane is BEAUTIFUL. As soon as I saw the picture of him I thought he looked like you. On my second glance I thought he looked exactly like John. =) Breastfeeding ain't easy! I've had my own set of troubles with little Jedidiah. Here's my encouragement: Whatever you end up doing, whether the breast or the bottle, Keane is going to do great. And you are a great mom. Wish I could come over and hold him. Praying for you! love ya! -Megan Bischof